My initial reaction to this tragedy was pure shock and disbelief.  I sat at the table in the restaurant and tried to picture what was happening and tried to grasp what exactly that meant.  Reality did not fully reach me until I saw with my very own eyes the destruction on the television.  My mind was running in all kinds of directions, but my primary concern was if everyone that I loved was safe at home.

            After a few hours passed and I had confirmed my immediate family was okay, I began to calm down.  The media was beginning to piece more information together to give everyone a better idea of what was happening. 

            There are two things that completely terrify me about what has happened.  First the last thing in the world I want is to have another war.  The thought of losing my friends and brother to war is just not something I am ready to accept, but my ultimate fear is the mentality of people.  I just do not understand how people are capable of such unimaginable terrorism.  I just cannot understand how people can have so much hatred that they can kill so many innocent people.  The mentality behind this just leaves me speechless.  I just see it as a never-ending cycle, and that in itself is enough to leave fear in my heart for the rest of my life.  How can someone just kill so many innocent people, what did they gain from this?

            When we all found out about the terrorist attacks in America, and the horror that it has caused I became very scared and hysterical.  My initial reaction was to worry about everyone in my family because my father works in NYC and my sister lives there.  It was an awful feeling to not be able to contact anyone at home.  It feels strange to be in a foreign place, so far from everyone I love and all of the comforts of home.  It felt good to cry and let my feelings out.  I do not think that I was able to think about the political aspects of this terror until I was sure my family was safe.  I can not even believe what is happening in the world.  Nothing in my life time has ever filled me with so much fear and anxiety about the world.  I must say that I do not know very much about politics in my own country.  All I know is that I am concerned with the lives, hearts and safety of people in this world.

            I am very scared that this event will lead our country and the rest of the world into war.  I do not know what should be done, but I do not believe that bombing and killing many innocent people is the answer.  I know we have ot retaliate in some way and I wish it would not be violence, but I have a feeling it will be.  I feel in disbelief and therefore confused about the emotional state I find myself in.  It is all very draining.  My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who has lost loved ones in this chaotic disaster.  I feel lucky to be far away, but at the same time I long for everyone I love.  I can not stop watching the news, and I hate not knowing what we have to face and endure in the near future.  All I know is that I must try to stay hopeful, and do whatever I can do for myself to make this easier.  I ma here now, and that can not change.  So, I try to think in order to heal. I really hope we do not go to war.

            I wish all of the terror and hatred in the world would stop.  Killing more people is only going to turn into more personal loss.  I was happy to find so many of my peers on this trip being in agreement about not using military actions, violence and murder as a way to retaliate.  I wish I thought that our country would act in a non-violent, humanitarian way, but I am sad to say I do not think that will be the case.  It is good to talk about our feelings on this issue, but I am well aware that at this point we do not have any control in terms of what happens next.  I hope the world does not continue to fall.

            Life tends to throw many obstacles at us.  Some we can overcome, and some are too unbearable to even think about.  The obstacles that lay ahead of us are scary now, and I even consider it insurmountable.  September 11 will be a day that will be remembered forever.  It was a day that innocent lives were taken for a cause that was understandable, but the acts taken out were horrific.  No matter what cause, reason, or pain you endure, there is no justification for taking innocent lives, which is what angers me.  What angers me even more is the fact that the religion of Islam was used and sabotaged in order to justify and endorse these acts.  Probably what leaves me upset the most is that I do not know what is to come out from this.  I can not take the images of the people on the plane whose lives were wrongfully ended because of a political cause that they had nothing to do with. I can not take the images of their anguish, their fear and their pain out of my mind.  I entirely disagreed with the comments of many of our leaders, Americans, and one of my classmates, all of whom express the urge to want to attack and retaliate with strife to an enemy we are not even sure of.  However, I do understand how these sentiments can arise, and how those involved want immediate action to be taken. 

            The patriotic feelings that many have in this country is a strong reason as to why people want to take military action on another country, however, if they knew how America played a role in these horrific acts, or if they opened their eyes to the “real” issues at hand, they would see that violence will just lead to violence, and it is violence that we implemented on other countries that led them to take violent actions on us.  This is not a war of Freedom vs. Terror as proclaimed by our President.  It is a war that is going to lead to the same results as the reasons that it started.  It is occurring because of the millions of people suffering, being killed, being raped and being oppressed.  Oppression can not be combated with the cowardly acts done by the terrorists involved in this war, or with the acts of violence that so many Americans want.  I fear how the Muslim community will be treated now, and until this issue is resolved.   This may change the perspective of the world towards Muslim.  People should understand that it is not Islam that causes these horrendous acts, but it is fanatic beliefs, as well as misery that others suffer, which causes this.  Islam is a religion that I practiced for some time and it was one that I still adore because of the peace and solidarity that it brings among people.  It is also one of the least segregated religions in terms of race and income, as millions of people in the world of all ethnicities, races and genders practice this form of religion.  If you ask any reasonable human being, including the Muslims living in the Middle East of what they would think of an attack that killed thousands of people, I am sure they would denounce it and call it horrific just as a Christians, Jews or Atheist people would.  However, I am sure that if you change the question and ask many of the Middle Eastern people what they think about America, they would mention to you the deaths they have been suffering for years now, via American, bombs, American missles, and overall American influence.  They would point out to you how their children have lived their whole lives with the fear that we now live with.  They would mention the thousands of innocents Middle Eastern people who have been killed via Western influence and weaponry.   They would mention the millions of Iraqi and other Middle Eastern innocent children that are suffering and starving due to American sanctions.  They would point out the blatant injustices they have endured as other countries such as the U.S have supported certain groups over others.  This does not justify killing innocent people though and it is scary to know that there is a new weapon out there that not the U.S or any Western country industrialized has.  It is a weapon that arises from despair and from desperation........the suicide bomber.  No reasonable human being will take their lives or the lives of innocent people, so we must ask ourselves what drives a large population of people to be willing to do such unthinkable acts.  Why has American grown to be so hated.  Of course we will not answer or look at these questions as the media continues to feed us with propaganda that portrays the American government as innocent bystanders that were wrongfully attacked.  Our influence does not justify killing innocent people but our influence of history and our share in the burden should not stand in the dark during this time of mourning.  I remember speaking to some Muslim friends of my father and they spoke to me of the shear horror they live in......they mentioned to me their families and their friends whose homes were burnt by American made bombs and weapons.  They talked about how they did not know what to do or who could help them.  Well, we now have radical, fanatical groups that seek to end their repression, the same repression that allowed people to formulate our country.........and now innocent people are going to be victims of a new type of warfare.  We have lived through the fear of Nuclear technology, but now we must rise above a new war.....a war of theology.  The technological superpower vs. the suicide bomber..........what is to transpire from this is unknown and scary.

The terrorist attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon will never be forgotten. The reason is that so many innocent lives were lost in this tragedy. As a person who is a firm believer in God, I believe that God gives life and should be the only one to take lives. The people responsible for this tragedy were obviously angry with the United States government and demonstrated their anger with taking their lives and the lives of innocent victims.

Today, after school, I was watching CNN and they were showing the names, ages, and the areas the victims were located. Although I did not see all the names and the ages, I would say that these victims died relatively young. The youngest victim that I saw was only two years old and the second youngest was only four years old. I asked myself why a two and four year old had to be killed over political disagreements.

My deepest sympathies go out to the victims and their families. This incident hits so close to home because in 1989 or 1990 a tragedy occurred in the Bronx that killed 87 people, most of whom were Honduras. My mother’s cousin was among the victims and she was a mother of five. This tragedy was the Happy Land Fire. Happy Land was a social club located in the Bronx that was dosed with gasoline and set on fire. The person responsible for this was caught and is now serving 25 years for each person that died in the fire which is equivalent to 2,175 years. His reason was that he had an argument with his girlfriend, who worked at the social club, and wanted her to die. Well, she left the social club before he came back and dosed the club with oil and set it on fire.

Although this incident had no political affiliation, it has to do with the selfish criminal acts that are performed to get a message across. Retaliation is not the answer to solving problems because it does not bring anything except more violence. It will be a continuing cycle that goes nowhere.

September 11^th will always stand in my mind, as the day I recognized that he United States is fallible. It destroyed m allusions to the idea that we are invincible. War, death, has been something that was far from me. It has never touched me in such a personal way. I am still in shock. And my greatest fear is that it will continue to shock me long after it is over. History in the making. I have to honestly say I never thought it would touch me, us, this generation. It is a violation of my right to lead a flife of boring accomplishments, and expected successes. Now, I don’t know. In a year from now, we might be at war. Mind-boggling seems an inaccurate description to the impact it could potentially have on our lives. What Marissa was saying about the American way of life is true. I would want to preserve it because the things that have been accomplished are in fact amazing. I would want to preserve the idea of life, liberty and justice for all. And war, often does not. I m also terribly worried because politically speaking, we are not in the best position. I think the president’s cabinet is sound, but I question their ability to find a solution thta satisfies the American public, and that is just. I do not believe in killing innocent people, because one life can never replace others. But something has to be done. Atrocities committed must be punished, some way. People worldwide need to understand that senseless murder is not accepted. But we need to practice what I am preaching, which I am sure, a lot of Americans are preaching right now. Murder by anyone is not tolerated.

What astounds me is the fact that we expect our soil to be impenetrable, beyond violatoin, and then yesterday someone taught us it wasn’t. Hard lesson we had to learn. I can not even begin to imagine what the future will bring. I hope a solutin that satisfies my ideas of justice. Maybe this atrocity will awaken Americas eyes to the fact that our reign as sole superpower of the world is officially over. No longer can we go beyond our borders and wreak havoc on other line’s without repercussions.

I am supposed to write, when my feeling are numb. How does one express terror and remorse in words? My heart goes out to all those who have suffered, all who have survived....to those who will suffer because of all this in the days to come.

I am miles away from my family perhaps safer here anyway. I do not think that is what makes me feel dismay. I know they are safe. Hearing my dad’s voice-I know there is nothing more I can do. I am afraid of ignorance, revenge, murder. The United States has a chance to show its fists of its heart. We all know humanitarism comes only after we rape and murder and are forced to say we are sorry (are we really?) that we become humanitarians on a world scale.

I am afraid a man, with a simple command, will destroy an entire species. A species with people devoted to peace and love and progress...gone. Violence only breeds violence. How can we justify bombing people to show them murder is horrific Are we any more just in retaliation?

I am comforted to know there are people who support justice and progress through non-violent means (where is the Reverend Martin Luther Kings spirit when its needed most?) I am sorry to say I do not think the road less traveled is the one good ol’ George W. will walk.

I am afraid that when faced with conflict, the U.S will bear its chest, clench its fist and silence the noise momentarily. It will not last long........it will only become louder. Bombs do not solve problems. Hatred will not quell hatred.

I think the U.S. will make the wrong choice and I am sorry to say there is nothing I can do. I will teach my children to think with their hearts and solve with their minds. I will open my mouth, a woman indeed, and enlighten my peers. I feel powerless in the face of the biological warfare I may face.... I feel this is so deeply involved-we need to know why-not necessarily who.....we need to find the problem. We need to heal the roots of this poisoned tree before we blow off the branches, for the roots are much stronger........they run much deeper!

Class was stressful, and I am glad we talked about. I am glad there are others who are as passionate as I am. Perhaps we will change the world-I hope we do.

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